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Life isn't always a fairytale, but if you try hard enough you may just find one

Disclaimer: its not all light and fluffy content!


I've been thinking for the last week about where to go from Aurora's birth. That day was such a monumental occasion of my life that honestly I am not really too sure what I can say to top it. So I came the conclusion that I will tell you a bit about myself before I had Aurora.


So before I had Aurora I was working in recruitment... I enjoyed it immensely but the hours were so, so long! Although that was through no ones fault except for my own - I mean the 50 mile commute each way really didn't help with that fact! The people in my office were awesome and we had such a laugh despite the early starts and late finishes!


I remember this one time I went to the bank on my lunch break. I was waiting patiently in the queue (you know as us Brits do!) and a woman who was in front of me turned around and said, "Congratulations! How far along are you?"

I looked at her in dismay and said, "Um, excuse me? I am not pregnant!"

The look she gave me was that of total embarrassment and I just stood there laughing to myself thinking what on Earth just happened!?


As it turns out at this point I was actually around four or five months pregnant with Aurora but I was completely oblivious to this!


So I had actually just been promoted about a month before I had Rory, I was made Contract Manager and literally it was THE BEST feeling EVER!! I was so proud of myself, I got a company car and was in charge of my team and for that month I felt as though I was on track to achieving my ten year plan.


My ten year plan was to keep working my way up the ladder and eventually become an area manager or director. I have always been very ambitious and as a result I was constantly looking forward to my next role and putting the hours in that I felt was needed to get ahead and get noticed. So when I got my promotion after only being with the company for six months, I was over the moon!


Although this feeling was short lived! (Thanks Aurora!!) As I look back at that time in my life now - you know with older and wiser eyes! 😂 - I don't feel that I was the best version of myself, I was selfish and only thinking about number one. This isn't necessarily a bad thing and I firmly believe in self love and care because you have to look after yourself. However, I was selfish in the way that I only thought about myself and made sure that everything I did I got something out of it. I wasn't always like that, I think there was a part of my life that I didn't want to think about and so I just threw myself into work without dealing with what I had gone through. ( this is something I will elaborate on at a later date!).


So bearing all that in mind, when I had Aurora on the morning of April 10th 2017 my whole life changed in the most indescribable way. I had to quit my job, I had to return the car, I no longer had a decent income, my life had taken a U-Turn and honestly I wasn't entirely sure how to deal with it.


I had gone from working 50-60 hour weeks and commuting an hour each way, to being home with a baby - my baby - in a matter of hours. The ironic thing is though is that I was actually getting more sleep with a new born than I was when I was working!! (Sorry to all the mums who have many, many sleepless nights - rest assured she is making up for it now!)


So with my new life being at home with Aurora, I had time to think... I was thinking about what I would have done had I not gone into recruitment and honestly I was at a loss! That age old questions "What did you want to be when you were younger?" kept coming up and honestly I can't even tell you, I have absolutely no idea what I thought I wanted to be when I was younger then as I kept thinking about it I realised that before I went into recruitment I wanted to be a Primary School Teacher.


So here we are today, doing a primary education course with the Open University and honestly I would go back to recruitment in a heartbeat. It isn't necessarily the content of the course that is hard. I am finding that I need hours of spare time to really sit down and get through the content and being a full time mum that just isn't doable so when I have a spare five minutes I do what I can. I mean fair play to anyone who is working a full time job and doing a full time course with the Open University because honestly it is something else!


However... it's Aurora, it's always been about Aurora and honestly that little girl has made me a better person, she brings out the best in me and everything I do is for her. All I want is for her to be happy and her to see me as a role model and someone that, when she is older, she can be proud of.


Aurora has made me who I am today and that person is someone I am proud to be. I am stronger than I have ever been and I know now that I can overcome ANYTHING that is thrown in my path. As long as I have Aurora and as long as she has me, I know that we can accomplish anything.






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