Hey everyone!
So, I read on Instagram that it is Single Parent Week.... I couldn't find anything on Google to back this up. However, we are running with it anyway! That's just the way I roll. As a single parent I have to overcome many obstacles - believing what I want to believe is one of them! So I am just putting that into action!
Being a single parent is hard, hard work. I can't tell you how many times I have broken down because I have got it in my head that I am doing it wrong, or I am going to bring Aurora up to not be a very nice kid. I mean take last week for example... I was doing my assignment and Aurora threw a hissy fit because I wasn't paying her much attention and she literally slammed the door of the living room into the cabinet and made a hole.... and then out of nowhere she started slamming the door of the cabinet and broke the door off its hinges! I WAS MAD! Like forget about the Mad Queen with Drogon... I did not need a Dragon to show Aurora how crazy I was that day! She said sorry and gave me a cuddle and I cried on FaceTime to my friend. Then I did what any sane Mother would do and grabbed my hammer and my screwdriver, and I fixed that door.
You know what though, I feel for single Mum's - and Dads of course, I do understand it goes both ways but writing from my experience... in the last two years, I have had to replace a bannister, fill in holes - albeit badly, put up beds and bed guards and most recently I have fixed my hoover - now... I am not saying these are gender specific jobs but seriously?! Is there an art to filling holes in the wall... because I am terrible!!
In my experience I have also found that there is a really fine line between "bad cop" and "good cop" and when there are two of you raising a child it is usually pretty obvious which is which. However there is a fine line when you are doing it alone. So, so often I have messed that one up! I am also really struggling with the whole dummy situation - so she only has her dummy at night time and nap time. I have thrown away one dummy a day for the last two weeks - in the outside bin as well so it isn't even like she can get them back out - yet I have more dummy's in my flat today than I thought I did two weeks ago. Honestly, they just keep turning up. It's like the whole crayon situation all over again! Those buggers are still turning up as well. At least dummies can't be used to draw on the walls - I feel as though I am clutching at straws but hey, let's call that a silver lining! The whole dummy thing is hard though because I know that once I get rid of them, I am in for a hell of a ride trying to find something to replace them with at bed time, then there's the even more lack of sleep I will have to endure when she can't find them at night. Okay it's decided - after I have finished this year of uni... I will make Aurora throw all her dummies in the bin. So cherish these last two weeks baby because after that you aren’t having anymore dummies.
Sorry went off on a tangent. So I am not working... however difficult that is for me, I decided to do an Open University course in Primary Education that I am doing full time.... honestly - FAIR PLAY to all of you who are doing it alongside a full-time job or alongside multiple children because it is HARD! I think this is where some of my guilt is coming from - last week I spent a lot of time doing my assignment and although I took her out every day and she is actually more than happy to amuse herself with her toys and Paw Patrol but I just felt like I could have done more... you know? I just have to keep telling myself that this course will lead to a better future for both myself and Aurora and that is why I am doing it.
It is hard being a single parent at the best of times, but you know what - it can also be so rewarding - like think about it.... everything your child does or says that cracks you up, those are moments that only you and they have and it's amazing. I know that it is tough, but we are strong and yes, a majority of us are making it up as we go along but you know what... that child, they are ours and although we are playing both Mother and Father at times, WE CAN DO THIS! It isn't always easy - but that’s just raising a child in general - doesn't matter what parent's a child has, child rearing is difficult for all. It's all about what we make of the situation. So be strong, be brave and be awesome for your kids!!
On that note -
When you read this one-day Aurora - yes, I shouted at you, and lost my temper and on occasion went crazy with you! But through all that I loved you and I know you're only going through the terrible twos and this won't last forever.
Thank you for being my best friend and thank you for making me realise what I am capable of. Even through the tears, I know that you and I make an incredible team and will continue to do so for a long time.
Thank you for bearing with me.
I love you
Many thanks, sincerely