So after reading a book in a day, I then moved onto the next psychological thriller... worked out the twist in the first three chapters. So now I am making my way through psychological thrillers, purely so I can see how fast I can work it out! What is funny though is all the while I have been buying these books from Amazon for my kindle app on my phone, I didn't realise there was prime reading, now, obviously I am a member of Amazon Prime, I mean everyone is nowadays, right!? So now, I can not only watch the same show over and over again... *cough* Grey’s Anatomy *cough* but now I can read all the books I want!
It really is amazing how the little things in life can bring joy. Take this blog for example. I never in a million years thought it would reach so many people but every time I sit down to write a post I find myself thinking of the most random things. The thing with these sorts of posts is that I don't really have a topic or a title to drive me, I just kind of sit down and start writing and see what happens! That is what I love about it. It is a way for me to organise my thoughts and get stuff of my chest as well as sharing with you all just how "interesting" my life is! I am fully aware it is not that fascinating, but I mean my life does have the odd dramatic story!
So - that's another thing - I have realised I say "so" a lot! Before it was basically! But apparently not anymore - honestly if I didn't proof read my posts before sharing them, there would be so many "so's". Anyway that is beside the point.... so basically (couldn't resist!) two years ago today Aurora giggled for the first time. I literally remember that day like it was yesterday. I was jumping up and down for such a long time just so excited that she had giggled. Even now though I do anything to make her laugh. She is the brightest most innocent person in my life, and she makes me smile every day, of course she can be a sassy little madam - and I still don't know where she gets that from - probably Aunty Harry! Yeah sorry Harry - she says Aunty Harry not Uncle Harry! Rory is amazing and is growing way too fast. I am constantly torn between wanting her to stay this age forever and wanting her to grow up just to see what she accomplishes.
I don't know if this is a normal feeling - I hope to God I am not the only one experiencing it but I sometimes become so overwhelmed with the fact that I have this child how I raise her is going to shape who she is and who she will become in the future. I mean don't get me wrong I am proud, and I know that I love her with my everything but at the same time I am like WHAT ON EARTH AM I DOING!? Potty training for example - what do I do when she doesn't want to wear a nappy, but she won't sit on the potty!? Honestly, your guess is as good as mine!
I mean finally she has come around to the idea of pictures and now says, "one...two...three... smile!!" when she sees that I have the camera out which I find hysterical. It is in writing these posts that I think of the weird and wonderful things that she does, and I actually find myself appreciating the little things. For example, we were out in the garden a few days ago with Aunty Ted and Aunty G and Aurora was in a dress with no nappy, and she has obviously been taking note of Ralph when he does a wee and she actually cocked her leg! It was a proper face palm moment but just hilarious!
I would also like to thank you all so much for being so kind about my previous post.... it was tough for me to write but I actually felt a lot better after writing it and putting my story out there. I got a little anxious about it but then I had a revelation and actually it is not okay to let someone dictate the way you feel so long after the fact. It is one of those things that yes of course, it is never going to fully go away but it is my choice as to whether I let what happened to me control my present and my future. Honestly, it was a mind-blowing revelation! I feel great. Of course, thank you to Jessie for passing my advice back to me. Like I have said before, it is okay not to be okay, but just don't let it take over your life or stop you from living it. This is just another reason why I love writing this blog so much, it helps me to organise my thoughts and helps me to see myself through new eyes!
I hope you all have a lovely day!
Many thanks, sincerely!
PEACE OUT ✌🏼